JACKWAR Aftermath: Rise of the Clan of Jacks
JACKWAR Aftermath: Rise of the Clan of Jacks is a film in the Second Jack Series, and the official sequel to JACKWAR. The film stars Jackas Jack and Jack Black, Jack White, Jack Bruce, Jack Dorsey, Jack Hanna, Jack London, Kim Jong Un, and Jack Ruby playing themselves. The film was directed by Andrew and was released in November of 2014. Plot The film begins early in the morning, with a train speeding through a desert area. A closeup on the train reveals several masked men on top of the train with giant swords strapped to their backs. They start running across the train and placing bombs on each car. Just as they're about to bail Jack falls onto the train from a parachute. Jack looks much different than before. He has badass scars on his face and neck from battling Omega Jack and his head is shaved. He begins to fight the masked assailants and manages to handcuff them to each other, with the last one handcuffed to the train so they can't escape the bombs. With 2 minutes left on the bomb, Jack enters the train and rushes to a dimly lit car. He approaches a crate that says "IMPORTANT SHIT" on it and opens it, taking what's inside (we can't see what it is) and jumping out of the train just as it explodes behind him. After going through the awesome opening credits, there's a scene at the ruins of the White House featuring the new president, Carla Carlson, who, unlike other presidents, is not a cisgender white male. Since many politicians died during the Jackwar she was next in line to become the president. She tells her underlings that it's time to rebuild the government and that they have to be very very careful. Suddenly a man rushes into the oval office (or what's left of it) and tells her that there are reports that several countries are preparing their nuclear weapons. Carla curses and tells everyone they are doomed. The movie moves to New York City, where Jack enters a secret base inside of an antique shop. Inside the base are the Clan of Jacks, featuring clan leader and comedy actor Jack Black, super badass musician and beautiful man Jack White, another badass musician and beautiful man Jack Bruce, Twitter co-creator Jack Dorsey, animal expert and zookeeper Jack Hanna, legendary author Jack London (who is now part cyborg) , and the man who murdered Lee Harvey Oswald: Jack Ruby. They are all sitting around a table staring at Jack. Jack places the device on the table in front of Jack Black, demanding to know what it is. The object is a dead dalmatian that has been stuffed and Jack wants to know why it was so important. Jack Dorsey tells him that it is the first stuffed dog that can access twitter. Jack Hanna begins arguing, saying that animals should not be stuffed and that it is wrong. Jack Ruby smacks him on the side of the head, telling him to shut up. Jack tells Jack Black that whoever was on the train was very high up in society and had hired several masked men to blow up the train and destroy the dog. Jack White tells Jack that the world isn't ready for stuffed dog that can access twitter and that they were trying to destroy it so they could nuke the United States and not have anyone tweet about it. Jack says that they need to stop the country from being nuked and the clan asks how. Jack London accesses his database with his cyborg powers and says there's a hub in the core of the earth that controls all of the nukes. Jack says that what he says is impossible and Jack London smacks him and says it was placed there by the Dark Emperor. Jack soon understands and the clan suits up for their mission. Jack sneaks into Carla Carlson's home to tell her about their mission. The only thing Carla Carlson knows about Jack is that he's murdered one of the presidents and he was there when the next president was murdered by Olan. She doesn't know that both of them were corrupt assholes. She pulls a gun on Jack and demands to know why is there. Jack explains everything to her and she drops the gun. Jack tries to kiss her because he's a womanizer but Carla tells him that is not interested in men and Jack says that she really is the president America needs. I mean seriously a mixed race lesbian president that is so majorly awesome. Carla says she wants to go on the mission and Jack says ok. The movie moves to an undisclosed location where North Korea's leader Kim Jong Un is sitting on a throne of bones and staring at a screen where several world leaders are talking him through Skype. After discussing how wonderful Skype is Kim Jong Un tells the world leaders of his plan. He plans to activate all of the world's nukes except for the USA's and destroy the USA, making him become emperor of the world. The world leaders decide that is the best idea and a team is formed to go to the center of the earth and activate the nukes. The team is Kim Jong Un (leader) , the former Horse Queen, a clone of Jack's first girlfriend Karen, three random terrorists, and a clone of Barack Obama. They set off on their mission through a tunnel that leads right to where they're going. The Clan of Jacks however, have to go through an entrance in a mountain in Iceland. They manage to get through the entrance but not before hundreds of zombie guards who have been there for 500 years attack. The entire Clan (and Carla Carlson) are able to kill them all and the fight is really damn cool. The Clan enters the mountain and begins their journey to the center of the earth. After hours of walking and climbing they arrive at a huge jump over lava. Everyone is able to make it except for Jack Bruce who falls down into the lava. The team cries and mourns over their lost friend but they realize they have to keep moving. Jack Black leads the way. Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un and his team are simply walking down the tunnel. No threat at all. The Karen clone begins speaking with one of the terrorists. The terrorist asks her if she remembers Jack and she says she does and she wants to kill him. They have no idea that Jack is headed where they are headed. The clan arrives in a tropical area where several humanoids are living. Carla Carlson feeds them some food from where they come from and the natives begin to trust them. Jack White asks one of them where the core is and the native points toward a black ocean. The clan builds an awesome raft and starts to sail toward the dark horizon. After hours of sailing an enormous sea serpent flies out of the water and begins to terrorize them. Jack Dorsey pulls out his gun which is shaped like a twitter bird and starts firing wildly at it. He manages to hit a weak spot but it is not enough to take the creature down. Jack Hanna realizes what he must do. He starts reciting a bunch of enchantments and soon transforms into a Gryffin. He flies up and begins attacking the monster and while everyone is shooting at the serpent finally is killed and Jack Hanna turns back to a human. He reveals that he has the power to transform into any animal, even humans. They soon arrive at the core. The core is covered by a mysterious metal from space to block most of the heat. Underneath the core is a computer. When Jack London goes to hack into it Kim Jong Un and his team appear and they point their guns at the clan. Jack Ruby moves over to where Kim Jong Un is and points his gun at the clan too, revealing that he was a double agent. Everyone is ordered to drop their weapons and they do so. But just as they're about to be killed by Kim Jong Un's team a gunshot comes out of nowhere and Jack Ruby is killed. Jack Bruce appears, with burns all over his body and lava dripping down to the ground. He begins to fight everyone and the clan joins in, with Jack going after the Karen clone. The fight is brutal and Jack Bruce is killed again and Jack White shoves a sword through his body to stab the Horse Queen which kills him, too. After the clones are dealt with and the terrorists are dead Jack moves to kill Kim Jong Un. Kim Jong Un transforms into an enormous cyborg dragon and the entire Clan begins to fight him. The fight is long and Jack London sacrifices himself to hack into Kim Jong Un's cyborg technology and destroy it. Kim Jong Un transforms back to human and he and Jack have a long hand to hand fight. Jack soon twists Kim Jong Un's arm and orders him to deactivate all the nukes in the entire world. Kim Jong Un does this but after he does he struggles out of Jack's grip and disappears in smoke. The team celebrates their victory and Jack White comes back to life since he is immortal, but Jack is very affected by the extreme loss of life and the fact that he had to kill Karen again. When they arrive back in New York Jack Black tells him that he does not have to join the Clan of Jacks right away and he can wait for when he's ready. Jack appreciates this but he wishes he had another mission. Jack Black places a file on his desk and leaves. Jack slowly opens the file and his eyes widen. It contains the whereabouts of George Washington. His father. Production Shooting began in September of 2013. Man we took a long ass time to make this movie. But yeah it's getting made. Jackverse for the win bitch!!!!!!!!!! Negotiations with North Korea Upon finding out that Kim Jong Un was an enormous fan of the Jackverse films, Andrew contacted him to see if he would like to play one of the villains in Rise of the Clan of Jacks. Kim Jong Un accepted the offer instantly, but demanded he be paid ten million dollars prior to shooting. Andrew, being that rich motherfucker that he is, paid the money happily. When asked about what it was like to work with Kim Jong Un, Jack said it was an "exhilirating experience. Kim Jong Un has always been one of my idols and to be acting with him in a film is a real blessing." When asked if Kim Jong Un would become a recurring character in the Jackverse films, Jack chose not to comment. Box Office The film was a Box office smash. It opened at #1 and stayed there for three months. It made over a trillion dollars worldwide. Reception The film received universal critical acclaim. Many people praised Kim Jong Un's performance along with the other Jacks. Carla Carlson was considered to be a necessary character for the Jack series. The Horse empire yet again has demanded the film be destroyed. Future An untitled sequel to the film and spin off featuring Carla Carlson are on their way.